Category Archives: Profligate banter

Romancing Capital

I have always wanted to indite my gratitude towards the national capital. But my last attempt to do so was severely hampered by an enigma that I have always carried with me. So this time I have tried my level best not to stray from the goal.

Not all those who wander are lost. I have travelled to Delhi more number of times than any other city. I have also been to Mumbai, Kolkata, Bangalore, Ahmedabad and other big cities and I liked them a lot. But whenever I have left these cities none seemed to be calling me back for more. This is what makes Delhi special.

Hey I can sense myself straying. Love is an evil, my bwoy!!!

So Delhi is a ‘mast mast sheher’ and it always keeps you wanting for more. A certain degree of warmth you can always sense certainly more that other cities. I am not saying other cities are bad places but Delhi is definitely more livable. So I will start writing what I wanted to write, good or bad. My Delhi friends please forgive me you find anything odd in this.

Food is awesome and cheap. You don’t always have to burn a hole in your pocket to get eatable food. Simplest and smallest of eateries will serve you the food that you will end up licking your fingers. I am a veggie but I must say Delhites are crazy about chicken. Some items of Delhi are trademark esp butter chicken, chole bhature, kebabs, etc. I love Delhi’s paneer butter masala. Also I am a big fan of momos. Ask me about Delhi’s most fantastic momo’s spot and I have a story to tell.

 
The best street food in the world for an urban place ( and I am comparing Chandigarh, Mumbai, Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Kolkata, Patna, Allahabad and other North Indian cities of importance only).

I must say people are good looking maybe not always very polite. But that’s alright as nobody gives a F. Dressing is mostly up to the mark.

Best educational facilities in India and most importantly the best libraries I have ever seen.

Best places to go for culture including museums, habitat center, historic places, plays. Definitely not great for concerts, I have a horrible experience of that, so don’t poke me on that. Plus I would like to add that Delhi doesn’t have any nightlife, a big negative when you compare it with Mumbai or Bangalore.

 
Delhi metro is the best in India. I guess I don’t need to elaborate on that point.

Not very expensive to live in. Many cheap and flexible hostels and lodging options if you really are a man enough to live in those areas. And if you are really a cash machine, Delhi is specially for you.

Lovely parks best IMHO in all urban India except Chandigarh. I have known Delhi from those days when it was polluted, but believe me it’s much more greener that you think it is.

Delhi cops not that good compared to Mumbai( except that they should start speaking Hindi as well) but really hard working and less corrupt than rest of India.

Rule of law especially regarding violent crime against women. Crime gets punished strictly otherwise when newspapers make hue and cry. But I can not say that for whole NCR. In fact I must say NCR people must learnt to respect women. It is definitely not safe for women.

Also Delhi is the center of power with our so called ‘respectable’ parliament in there always keen to fox poor people.

I must add my friends that Delhi has a terrific history that always makes us proud. After all its the capital dude.

Dilli rules.!!

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Oblivion

 

I wish I could make a world of words and be the senator. After all it’s about the lies as I see.

Everyone is befooling the other fool fellas. Wife lies to her husband, boyfriend to her girlfriend, employees to their bosses, students to their educators, and a a hell lot of other people who seem so deep in their world of falsehood that they appear to be made for each other. And mind it it’s a both way traffic. The later ones aren’t good either.

The height is when you see guys lying to the god himself. And the god does the same in return.

I am not a diehard pessimist. But I can see the things the way they are. Because I am the Mr. Perfect. You might just ridicule me as Mr. Rhetoric. As I said you can.

Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver but finishing second in life gets you oblivion.


Before Sunrise

Well frankly speaking I never thought of writing this over a blog or make it public at anytime in my life. Because I don’t like writing about love especially my own. But you see it’s here.

It was when I saw the flick ‘ Before Sunrise’ I couldn’t stop myself. It’s not for the first time I have seen this flick. I am kind of used to watching the same flick every now and then. It somehow shows my own story with a girl as beautiful as an angel, a feeling as divine as the first ray of light reaches the earth. But this time it was special.

Almost over year and a half to this day, probably 30/31st of may ( I suck at remembering dates), pretty much similar thing happened to me. What more do you want in your life other that a full 24 hours of passion and dedication with the lassie from your dreams?

A few years down the line a day will come I will read this post and laugh at my self. May be it can happen that I will think foolish of myself writing this post. But believe me each and every moment that day I could sense tranquility. I had nothing to lose, I had everything to lose. Things turn out to be awfully strange sometimes. And the funniest part is you really can’t do anything about it. I had hope of course, or why would I have been there?

Funny isn’t it, hope, content, tranquility, remorse, and blah, blah, blah !!! Halcyon days of my life. 

I knew she is leaving to never come back. I somewhere knew I would never be able to see her. I kept staring like a lamb. But there was this feeling of content. I was smiling deep somewhere in my heart when she promised to comeback the following day. She looked beautiful that moment. Well guess what, I was right, she didn’t comeback, not only the next day but never after. How brilliant I am at times that I am able to foresee the future?

So did it hurt? Of course it did. I was devastated. It was like a nightmare. But it was nothing that I hadn’t been prophesying. It was a long overdue meltdown for us. So I was kind of prepared and she was determined. She will always be an enigma.

Right from the moment I picked her up near her college at 7, to the Connaught Place at 11, to the Comesum at Nizamuddin station at 12, back to the Connaught Place at around 4 in the morning( OMG!!! it was like Carpe diem), I kept telling myself, “This is the day dude, maybe you won’t see her again, maybe you would, but this is the time to tell, talk, convince, impress, force, cajole her. It’s not done as yet.”

We watched a movie, don’t even remember the name. We moved around as if it’s our first date. It looked to me as if Delhi is suddenly an unknown place, and I have a task of finding an amusement for my beloved. She didn’t have her cellphone with her, and neither did I. We were like anonymous fellas trying to compromise with each other. But I loved her, Oh I really did.

We kissed each other. Ahem ahem!!! But something was missing. I will tell about that missing thing later.


Roger Federer- A glorious debacle

 

Roger Federer is one of the best ever tennis players, no questions about that. As the ever faithful statistics clearly show that his sustained domination over a 3 year period was quite unlike in the history of Tennis. His stay at the top, grand slam wins, semi-finals, quarter finals streak all will take decades to top if ever it happens.

If you care to see the celebrations of each and every player after they beat Federer you will see as they celebrate as if they have conquered the world and go ecstatic. And do not seem at all to be upset when beaten by him. They still fear him as the best in the business. One of the most revered champion in the history of tennis. Every sport has its invincible champions. Tiger Woods, Tendulkar, Schumacher, Jordan and Federer are all in the same league.

Federer is playing just as well but has lost the little extra bit confidence or grit to clinch crunch points time and again consistently against top quality players just as he shows in his recent defeats this year.

This quality is what separates a top 10 player from a number 1 player. Once he loses momentum in a match, Federer is not the best comeback man right now. Nadal is showing it winning matches somehow even though not playing his best. Del Potro and Djokovic also have that ability.

Well being an avid follower of tennis and a diehard Federer fan I follow him to the wildest and am seriously concerned with him not performing. He has always been extraordinary with his game. You would have hardly seen him struggling if you have followed this maestro in recent years of his prime. He never seemed to sweat. He just created new shots. And sometimes these shots do not pay off, that’s all I guess.

Rafa is his only nemesis as he seems to retrieve the ball from Spain if it is hit from Wimbledon. Taking nothing away from Rafa, I am not sure how long Rafa will stay fit and how long is he going to be around.

And talking of Murrays, Tsongas, Berdychs, they are just one time wonders I feel (or rather, the lucky bunch) and comparing them to Federer. Guys, it’s high time we understand the difference between art and victory. Art is forever and victory is just momentary.

But for Federer I wish that gets his issues straight and comes back all guns blazing in the upcoming tours. And please drops that attitude of complacency and do stretch out to return the ball to the opponents court. Else he will end up as the MJ of tennis molesting the kids( lowly ranked players) and ending up like Pete Sampras.

I remember reading George Burns somewhere:

‘Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.’


Moral Policing Vs Vulgarity

 

I’ve been thinking about writing a post titled ‘Beware of the MTV culture’. MTV makes violence seem to be ordinary. Alright, you might argue that they condemned the physical violence on Roadies and on Splitsvilla, but why should they show fights and arguments as the "highlights" from the next episode. I like to watch these fights, I must confess. But that does not mean I condone such blatant display of violence. No, the MTV culture must not be allowed to propagate.

Which brings me to my next point. I am NOT engaging in moral policing. What happens with Raj Thackeray and the mockery on each Valentine’s Day is absolutely condemnable.

But let me ask you this: When you see couples in Buddha garden showing a Public Display of Affection, do you support it? Do you support Akshay Kumar getting unbuttoned on the ramp? I mean, I still think that the person who filed a PIL against Kumar is wanting publicity. But I still feel that what Kumar did was not right. I don’t want him to apologise. I just want him to know that it was not right. Alright, your brand is called ‘unbuttoned’, but if you show Kumar unbuttoning on stage, do you mean to say that people who wear that brand of jeans should be unbuttoned? Oh come on, there are better ways to sell your wares than to engage on obscenity.

I have always opposed aping of the west. But unfortunately, that is what mostly happens. Why should we compare Bollywood films to those from Hollywood? Why not judge them on their own merit (or the lack of it, if you ask me)? Does somehow have to speak English the way the Americans or the Britons do? Since we are the largest English-speaking community in the world (or at least second), why should we not have our own distinctive style of English. But you know what, we actually do. We insert expletives (the really dirty Hindi ones) in our English sentences to make it more ‘effective’. What is wrong, people? Are we losing faith in our language that we need to put in expletives to make our point more effective?
Perhaps we’re already on a path from which there is no return. We’re denegerating and there is no escaping it. But every big movement begins with a small step. And so shall a reformation.

MTV is leading the brigade of channels which have launched horribly amoral shows like Splitsvilla, The Fast and the Gorgeous, G-Talk, and Roadies (although to be fair, not THAT they deserve any fairness, Roadies is the lesser of all these evils).

All that the producers of these shows see is that in the West, shows like Punked, The Real World, Big Brother, Yo Mamma, etc etc rake in the TRPs.. and so they make up all these Indian counterparts and thrust it on an unsuspecting audience.

AND OF COURSE WE’LL WATCH IT! Very few of us are able to keep our eyes turned away. I myself, while surfing, land on MTV, and get stuck. I watch the whole show in some sort of twisted trance, and the moment the show ends, I literally just get up and walk off with a bad taste in my mouth and glazed look in my eyes. And yet I’ll be back the next time the show is on air.

Now I’m not a fan of ruthless censorship, but something needs to be done here. Because clearly the Indian audience is too weak to to take a stand in their living rooms.

Grow up guys…

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Monday, March 1, 2010


Will Patna ever be able to own an IPL franchisee….

 

IPL as written is just taken as a mirror to showcase the inner view of the much hoopla about this city advancing its assets by leaps and bounds.

So for me personally the question remains “Is the city really developing? ”.  Last time the city had hosted an international fixture was way too long ago with kind of un-smoothe going. Even the states have started  having possession of multiple franchisees. But as far as i can see with zero infrastructural advancement visible how is it possible for some magnate to buy a team for the state. The only sphere in which the states has been able to produce bigwigs is the politics. And leave behind the case of buying an IPL representation they have not been able to shell out a penny for all the masses who have powered to positions they hold.  These assholes can shell out huge sums for arranging rallies across the states for creating divides among those same masses based on cultural or religious lines. Why the fuck they cant concentrate on the developmental work as they pledge out while taking oaths for the big positions in the central or state cabinets? Even if they use the public funds to buy IPL team for the state i am sure the team name would be PATNA POLITICOS. Lol…

Anyway this would mean deviating away from the things and the issues that come out when you read between the IPL lines if i go on cursing them for the Yuck they have made out of a gem province.

The thing is that no renowned face would ever buy the thing for us.Why would they when it take fucking ten years to complete some project here then another ten just to come out of the controversies related and do the inauguration.

Okay if i have been boring you people in this text hear is some fun added to it just for you guys.  Also it would be kind of pun as it would bring out some sense.

Many of us would have watched the match that was played between Mumbai Indians and Chennai Super Kings.  There were many bolly-starlets in the stands to cheer for their team. Mainly visible to me as far as i could see were Farhan Akhtar, Geeta Basra, Arjun Rampal,Kunal Kapoor and many more. Imagine a team of our state playing on its home turf in the Moin-ul-Haq stadium.

Let the team be PATNA POLITICOS. Then the in the celeb stands the people there to support the home team would be the famous who’s who. Cheering the the team would be the Laloos, the Paswans, the Nitishes and other mafias. As imaginable with the location of the stadium sand-witched between the politicos and the mafias there would be a huge mass of misled students who’s immense enthusiasm has never been tapped to end up with something constructive but has always been pioneered in some kind of wrongdoing. One possibility is also there of having a stand for the setters providing easy access for the students to get themselves registered for the upcoming entrance exams and thus earn some easy cash. Then there is also possibility of having few policemen as security measures as in Patna security is of least concern as everyone is self secured.

But one thing is for sure the match atmosphere would be great and electric. Specially for the match against the Mumbai Indians. Lol..

Not to forget about the team composition the team would fill in as per the government quota system with some Paswans craving for more and more moslem and mahadalits inclusion.

And believe me the match would definitely be a hit being the last match in the IPL history with IPL banned forever in future as some mishap would always be on the cards being the most happening thing to have occurred on a cricketing turf .

I wonder when would these assholes grow up and when fuck would the great mass of a gem province wake up from the sleep induced to them by these so political demigods.

Why don’t you people understand they can never be your well wisher fellahs.You have to develop in your minds to be a big developed state.

Grow up Patna !!@@!!

Till then i am also feeling lil drowsy.

CHAO !!@@!!

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Monday, March 29, 2010


Just chew !!!

 

Pretty freaked by what’s happening around in the country so just wondering what could be done in order to comfort myself a bit. It’s better to draft a write-up to make sense for what seems to have completely lost sense. Oh God! Save the nation cursed by political turpitude. These creeps are perfectionists at malfeasance but they always have something to say leading to Democratic Imbroglio.

The bug incident in Pranab Mukharjee’s office shows something which is going not well with the second innings of the UPA  government. Who was it there spying? Food for thought.

But IB-fellahs rubbished claims that these were remnants of bugging devices. The suspicious stick-ons, they insist, were just chewing gum! Pretty interesting. Or were the gums purposefully meant for eavesdropping?

But I must say the poor elected fellahs deserve the space they need for braining multimillion scams of national importance (so I suggest there must be a gum disposal squad in these centres of good governance).

Also people say there is weight in accusations made by BJP leaders that there is rivalry in the government ministers. If it is somewhat true it does not augur well for the health of the country.

Already our PM is facing many problems of credibility. Congress’s very own Diggy Doggy Singh time to time comes forward giving the statements in favour of Rahul Gandhi that now it is the ripe time for Rahul Gandhi to be sworn in as the PM of India as our dummy PM is facing a sticky situation.

PM has been spanked for his silence and has been seen prevaricating in press on recent issues of national concern, then be it Lokpal issue, or midnight swoop at Ramlila Maidan, or inflation or whatever. Anyway why beat a dead horse. Every one knows that he is not the elected PM. And it is due to the grace of Sonia Gandhi that he became the PM. So we should not expect anything from Manmohan Singh as an independent PM could take decisions freely. He is always under the obligation. Ministers are all aware of the peculiar position of Manmohan Singh. He is aging and Congress is waiting for the time for Rahul as the prime minister. Chew that but something is cooking for sure.

A word of advice for all congressmen. "Political humility and good governance are best adhesives." Indeed. Netas should not only chew this but digest and reflect this in their politics and administration also.